10 Things I Never Thought I’d Say as a Parent, But Autism Proved Me Wrong
Before becoming a parent, I expected to say things like “Eat your vegetables,” “Be nice to your sister,” or the classic, “Because I said so.”
What I didn’t expect? Sentences that sound like they belong in a bizarre sitcom. But autism has a way of making life delightfully unpredictable, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Here are 10 things I never thought I’d say—but autism had other plans:
1. “No, we can’t take Henry Hoover to the supermarket.”
…But here we are. (Insert photo of Henry Hoover proudly strapped into the front seat like a VIP passenger.)
Henry has officially become a family member at this point. If your child is as obsessed with Vacuums like mine, here is where you can adopt one! Click here for your very own Henry!
2. “Stop playing with the oven Timer.”
Its not a calculator.
3. “Yes, we can go to Nana’s… so you can play with her washing machine.” Also, “Get out of the washer!!”
Because obviously, Nana’s house isn’t about cuddles, treats, or stories—it’s about that magical spin cycle.
4. “You’re putting this song on again for the 77,515,484th time? …Ok!”
At this point, I should just legally change my name to the artist on repeat.
5. “No, the hairdresser isn’t going to chop your ears off!”
I get it, scissors are suspicious. But I promise, your ears are safe.
6. “Shall we go to the park… or Currys?”
Because nothing says childhood joy like an electronics store full of washing machines.
My child is sooo obsessed with washers, we have around 9 toy ones in the house! Here are some of the best ones I commonly get asked about.
This one is a mini version of a real washer with real running water and a pipe and everything! You can find the link here: Click here for your mini washer that acts like a real one!
Here are a couple of toy ones we also like: Click for toy washer one , Click for toy washer two!
7. “No, you can’t wear your wellies to bed.”
I admire the commitment, but let’s stick to pajamas.
8. “Take your swimming costume and high heels off, it’s school time.”
A bold fashion choice for sure, but maybe not the best look for phonics class.
9. “Are you sure you don’t want some sweets instead of washing machine detergent from the shop?”
What other kid would rather get Persil than Percy Pigs?
10. “You are my funny, kind, quirky, gorgeous little boy, and I wouldn’t change you for the world.”
Because, at the end of the day, no matter how many washing machines we admire, hoovers we take on outings, or songs we listen to on repeat… I wouldn’t trade this wild, wonderful journey for anything.
Parenting is an adventure, and autism makes it a little more colourful.
What’s the weirdest thing you never thought you’d say as a parent? Let me know in the comments!
